15% OFF - Feel like Kate Middleton with this Blue Sapphire and Diamond Ring - 12.5 carat AMAZING gemstone - VINTAGE - READY TO SHIP

You know, until about 3 minutes ago, no one wanted to “feel like Kate Middleton.” She’s plain, a commoner, and unable to get her loafer boyfriend to commit. Now that she’s finally gotten the rock of her dreams (I hope) from her balding prince with a gene for comically large ears, suddenly everyone is all over her.

Enough, I say! Enough!

But I’ll probably be up at arse o’clock in the morning the day after my birthday, just like the rest of my fellow upstart colonist scum.